Decades later, my older brother was shocked that I was a fan. I reminded him that he had had a great deal to do with establishing my musical tastes, and so should not have been surprised.
My husband, Bill, and I collected cassette tapes of all the strange and silly songs we could find. These were constant companions as we and the kids traveled Europe and the U.S. Singing along with these songs made long distances fly. Weird Al was a natural for us.
When his ninth album, Bad Hair Day, came out in 1996, we got it as quickly as we could. That year, my youngest, Chris, was 6. It was the next year that this song got him in trouble at school.
Most of Weird Al’s songs are parodies, meaning that they are based on, and making fun of, other songs. Sometimes they are based on a single song. Think of “Another One Rides the Bus,” which is based on the Queen song, “Another One Bites the Dust.” Others are a combination of several songs. “The Night Santa Went Crazy” is one of these. It has elements from Soul Asylum’s “Black Gold,” Ozzy Osborne’s“Mama I’m Coming Home,” and Greg Lake’s “I Believe in Father Christmas.” But, I think that he took those elements and ran with them:
Down in the workshop all the elves were making toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said, with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all, now you're all gonna die!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' the raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddie Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbecued Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"
The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can hardly walk around the North Pole
Without stepping in reindeer guts.
There's the National Guard and the F. B. I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circling around in the sky
And the bullets are flying, the body count's rising
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy
Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doing time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in seven hundred more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Claus, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights
They're talkin' 'bout
The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of getting gypped
Wo-oh, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo-oh, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped, in his brain
There are gorier versions out there, but this is the original, and the version that I like best.
My younger son, Chris, is also a huge Weird Al fan. He, along with his older brother and sister, have grown up listening to his music. The album just before this one, Alapalooza, was a mainstay of road trips. We all learned the words to all the songs.
It was December, and Chris was in the second grade. The school music teacher asked all the kids to come to class ready to sing their favorite Christmas song to the others. At this point in time, The Night Santa Went Crazy was his favorite Christmas song.
Being a private voice teacher, I had Chris sing through the song for me to make sure that he wasn’t switching keys in the middle of the song and that he could sing the whole thing without making a mistake. He did a great job with it. Then I prepped him for the possibility that the teacher might not want something by Weird Al. I was sure that she was thinking more of the standard Christmas carols, but she had not given the kids anything more than “favorite Christmas song.” I instructed him to announce the name of the song, and the composer, and said that if she at any point told him to stop, he was to sit down without complaint. After all, the song runs for four minutes, if nothing else.
Then, I got a call from the school. Chris had been suspended for the rest of the day, and I needed to come to the school to pick him up. None of my kids had ever been in that kind of trouble before. I was in something of a panic as I drove the short distance.
Chris was quite a bit larger than most of the kids in his class. As an adult he is 6’4”. At 7, he was the size of a 10-year old. I was worried that he had accidently hurt someone. I doubted that he would have hurt anyone intentionally.
I was greeted at the school by a somber secretary who led me to the principal’s office. A chastened-looking Chris was sitting right outside her door. We were both ushered inside. The principal, a stern-looking older woman, motioned me to a chair. Chris was left standing.
She explained to me that Chris had sung a highly inappropriate song in front of his class. Once he had finished the song, the music teacher had sent him directly to the office. He was being sent home so that he could meditate on his crime. I agreed that this was very serious and promised to deal with him as he deserved.
We made it to the car before I started laughing. I asked Chris if he had announced that the song was by Weird Al. He had. I asked if the teacher had tried, at any point in the 4 minutes of the song, to stop him. She had not. I told him that there was a lesson to be learned here. Sometimes, the people in authority over us are idiots. And then, we went out for ice cream.
I’ll be posting some versions of this song every day on my Minnich Music Facebook page, so visit there to hear them! If you have any stories about The Night Santa Went Crazy, or Weird Al and one of his songs, let me know in the comments section, I’d love to hear from you.
I’ll be posting roughly once a week with a new song. I’m trying to make the songs seasonal, but I can make exceptions. So, if there’s a song that you’d like some background on, or questions about what it means, let me know.
Until next time!